Now I get it – we love our holidays and months. It is fun and spend the day honoring your Father Figures today. My concern over “days and months” is to me I see so many of these “events” becoming a substitute for real change, simply checking the obligation box of some social checklist on being inclusive or woke.
However as with many of my thoughts, I agree I am odd man out so I go with the flow. I had this debate over “Special” Olympics – how can we say our goal is inclusion when we demand to be “Special”. The same came forward with a recent political advertisement I saw on social media – the ad was simply “Vote for XXXXXXX because she is a Latina Woman and we need to make sure there is one on the School Board”. Interesting concept in my mind, avoid the issues, avoid the qualifications, avoid how one will address the core focus of a school board member, improving education, opportunity and empowerment for students. No simply a statement based on division and privilege.
However this is supposed to be about Father’s Day. I often say I was blessed to have parents who focused solely on self over community. Who used their children as pawns is a long perverse obsession of each other. One time my mother asked me a question, “did you not gain any knowledge from your father and I?” I responded, “Yes, when confronted with a quandary I simply think what would you two decide, and I have successfully eliminated a mistake”. So I had learned how to do things wrong and move forward.
I have goals – and in my mind goals are based on a journey that has no end. By this I mean you vision what you wish to accomplish and as you get closer to your goal, you adjust, you find ways to improve what you wish to accomplish, you read, you listen, you learn. Therefore your goal is towards a higher level, an improvement over the mold. I say this to explain why I do not believe I have reached my goals because on my journey I always see new ways, new methods, new ideas and must adjust the finish line.
My goal as a “Father” moves much in this methodology. I am very proud of my children. Each one has accomplished so much and are huge successes as individuals. They are also close and communicate with each other. This was an area where my parents failed, in my opinion deliberately. The weak believe that division and pointing fingers is the only way to boast one self. I differ, allowing people, especially your children to establish their own relationships out of parental control is empowering for them. My goals with my children will never end. I hope they see, by example that you can accomplish anything when you focus like a monomaniac on a mission and work ethic to put in the effort.
I have also sought to help fill a gap left by the males (I did not use men on purpose) who have not, will not or cannot be the influence demanded by their actions creating a child. This was so prevalent as I coached youth sports and Special Olympics. This as well is an unobtainable goal, however my vision was always hoping at the end of life, one might say their life was simply a little better because Keith was in it.
So keep on keeping on. Take the time to appreciate and remember those who provide the influence and guidance of a father figure everyday. More importantly to the MEN out their who fill those gaps, be dedicated to perfecting your mission and focus on improving the value you bring to others.